Two friends. One wine dinner. There in the corner, a giant wine bottle. They had to have it.

One friend—we’ll call him Matty—climbed into the bottle. The resulting energy simultaneously altered both the Earth’s magnetic fields and the natural course of human history. As quickly as you can say, “malolactic acid,” man and bottle were blended into a new and more evolved lifeform.

Matty Vino has been prancing, dancing, and romancing ever since.

Today, Vino specializes in making people smile. He offers free advice on Wine Country beyond the wine. He cuts aspirational videos. He gives inspirational talks. Sometimes Matty Vino simply shows up at an event to pose with guests for photos. He also runs his own part of a wellness-oriented multi-level marketing business. Just like everyone else.